Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Reality Check

Wow, been a while since I updated this thing. One of my New Year's Resolutions was updating at least once a doing well on that one. I'll try better from now on.

So, let's see:

I think I've gained weight since January 1, but I don't know since I haven't gotten on a scale in a long time. My last weight was 417 I think. I'll step on the scale tomorrow morning and check the status. The weight gain would mostly be due to a little freedom in buying my own food now that I have food stamps. I've gotten some sugary foods, but I've also gotten some healthy foods. I tried hard not to say "bad" foods and "good" food because classifying them like that only makes me feel emotional when I eat them. I feel like a proactive healthy person when I eat "good" foods like lettuce and whole grains, but I know I can't sustain it because I have a terrible sweet tooth, and there's only so much salad I can take. When I eat "bad" foods like cookies, cake, and ice cream I either feel guilty about eating it which makes me depressed so I eat more, or I feel rebellious and don't care if I eat it -- I'm eating it to stick it to the man! Or whatever. That phrase doesn't make sense when discussing food. So I need to get rid of the Food Police (a term I found in a good book called "Intuitive Eating" that I need to finish reading) in my head and work on labeling foods in a different way or not at all.

The other reason I've gained weight is a lack of exercise. I do go up and down stairs at least twice a day, but should do it more. And I play with the kids which involves getting up and down from the floor but isn't much more active then that. mostly I sit at a desk and work, play, etc. (but don't update my blog apparently). The lack of mobility really hit me today when I was at the park playing with my niece and nephew. My niece is really fast on her bicycle and even my sister had a hard time keeping up with her (but she did of course). I was walking with my nephew on his tricycle and let me tell you this: you know you're pathetically out of shape when you have trouble keeping up with a two year old on a trike. Technically he's not even two yet. So yeah, I'll be going on walks with them at the park a lot this spring. Let's hope it helps!

Waiter? Can I have my reality check now please? Wait, never mind -- I already got it at the park today.

TANGENT: I was thinking about the phrase "out of shape" because I was wondering whether I had ever actually been "in shape" in my life and then I wondered what determines being "in shape" which lead me to wonder about "shape". If you can be "in shape" and "out of shape" can you simply be "a shape"? And what shape is "a shape"? A square? A triangle? Hmmm.... Can I be a octagon please? Octagons are cool.


  1. A lot of people find food diaries extremely helpful. Basically, you write down everything you eat, and it helps you be more mindful. Online food diaries and calorie counters, like, are helpful for others.

    For your sweet tooth, consider dried fruit and diet sodas. I know there are people who think diet soda is from the devil, but it's all about moderation. And honestly, you have to weigh the health risks of artificial sweetener versus being significantly overweight. Fight your battles one at a time.

  2. I agree with the food diary.!!! fTW :)

    convince yourself you *like* the "healthier" foods or the non sugar foods. when you eat them. . think about how good they are and notice their taste. eventually you won't even like the sugar foods anymore.

  3. I still fight sugar cravings. The most successful I have ever been reducing sugar was when I allowed myself one treat a day. Was this cookie going to be it? Or would I wait and have it later? It increase the mindfulness while not depriving myself of sweets ever again. Eventually I did become less interested in sugar - it took about a month.
    A food diary is great, but mine gets neglected if I start eating 'bad' things - I'm too embarrassed to write it down! I know I need to allow myself more forgiveness when this happens.
    Remember to be kind to yourself! You've made an amazing decision - being willing to change!

  4. Hey El... I agree with your friends, a food diary is a really great idea - try being really strict about logging everything for a set period of time - say a week. Like Annamarie said, some times it's hard when you know you have some unhealthy things to log, but it's also important to take a real look at what goes on each day. In another post, a friend suggested walks around the neighborhood to spark a "thought for the day" or other kind of post - did you every pursue that? Just curious... Day by day is the way; if you step back, then try to step forward the next day. hang in there and keep going!